"Air Canada told to provide nut-free zone."

Sounds like a potentially popular feature to me. I think the world in general could use one or two of those.

Even better is the lead 'graph:

"Airline must provide a special ‘buffer zone' on aircraft for people who are allergic to nuts, transportation agency rules."

I'm allergic to nuts! Well, almost. I can haz "special buffer zone," plz?

EDITED TO ADD: Y'all are aware that while the original piece was referring to nuts-as-food, I'm referring to the possible misread of nuts-as-crazy-people, yes? That's why it's "Adventures in Copyediting," and not, "Adventures in Special Diets." Hence why the idea of a "nut-free zone" might be amusing...

So, we were driving through Kirkland, on our way back from dinner at Cactus.

We pass a bar. I read out the sign: "The Time Out Sports Bar."

akirlu snorts. "Everyone has to sit in the corner, and they're not allowed to drink."