Dispense with the Dispensation

I find it so cute that Los Amigos Arbusto are now going back to the UN for help.

More than anything, it reminds of Henry VIII. Yeah, you got that right. See, Henry wasn't originally the Heir to the throne, his brother Arthur was. (And, yes, this means England almost had a King Arthur more recently than you might think.) Arthur was married to Catherine of Aragon, because an alliance with the Spanish was thought to be a Good Thing at the time.

So. Arthur gets himself killed. This leaves Catherine his widow. The alliance is still thought of as a Good Thing. The ministers have a Bright Idea -- marry Henry to Catherine.

Trouble is, there's an Old Testament injunction about marrying your brother's wife (Leviticus 20:21). So the lads go up to the Pope and ask for a Papal dispensation. Pay no attention to those Spanish troops in your courtyard, Your Holiness.

Il Papa complies.

And, true to Leviticus, Henry and Catherine are without get, sans male children, etc. Also, Henry spies with his little eye a winsome young thing named Anne Boleyn.

So, he goes back to the Pope, asking to dispense with the dispensation, declare the marriage to Catherine null, void, spindled, mutilated, and basically incestuous.

The Pope decides to get peevish over having his celestial powers requested to be flame on! flame off! like some comic book hero or infomerical gadget. He gets stubborn, and decides Henry is stuck.

Hence, Espicopalianism. But that's not what I mean.

See, we went to the UN. We told them, "Look, we're lying through our teeth about the threat Iraq represents, but we'd really really like to go in there and bash some heads anyway. OK?"

Rather than granting their dispensation, the UN Security Council decided to withold it -- by what would've probably been a 2-13 or 3-12 vote at best. Mostly because invading Iraq was a stupid idea. We were told, repeatedly, what a stupid idea this was.

Now that we've gone ahead and actually done it... And, sure enough, found out what a stupid idea it was, just like the rest of the world told us... Now we're going back, hat in hand, tail between our legs, asking the Security Council, "OK. That was dumb. Ummmm... So. Any of youse guys want to throw your good money after our bad, and have your own troops hacked up daily, too? P-p-p-p-p-pleeeeeeze?" (in our best Roger Rabbit voice.)

Why, why does anyone think this idea is going to fly? To use a line of John Cleese's, "Are you completely deranged?" It shows such a willful refusal to observe other people that--------

Or, here's a parallel. Back when the Lewinsky story broke, many hotheads insisted that Clinton should resign. More than that -- they thought it was his only option.

And what I said at the time was, You're nuts. There's no conceivable scenario by which Bill Clinton would resign. He loved the job too much, he loved just plain being President too much. "But nobody will respect him!" they said. Doesn't matter. For Bill, being President is so much better than not being President, he doesn't give a damn. "But he won't be able to govern!" Same answer. Hell, you could take a gun to Chelsea, point it at her head, tell Clinton, Resign or the kid gets it, and Clinton would tearfully say, "Bye, honey. I'll miss you." Sure enough, Clinton stayed in office, confident -- rightfully so -- in his ability to cajole any jury, including the US Senate, into letting him off the hook.

Same thing now. Nothing, nothing we say will get all the veto powers to go along with this one. Their attitude is going to be, The US made this bed, they can bloody well lie in it.

Maybe I'm wrong, but already the French and Germans are mumbling and grumbling.